Opinions Are Like Assholes

Opinions are like Assholes

No Bullshit Allowed !!!

Lately I’ve been checking out videos on Youtube. Mostly just watching band interviews and live performances or just listening to music. Inevitably, after I’m finished watching the video I’ll read the comments. Often I find myself spending more time reading the comment section than watching the video. We’ve all heard that famous phrase “Opinions are like assholes…, everybody has one.” Well it seems that on Youtube, every asshole has an opinion and apparently theirs is the one definitive, final answer.

Recently I was checking out a video titled Top 20 guitarists of all time or something similar to that. It’s always fun to see other opinions but of course I didn’t see things the same way as the guy who made the video. I thought some of the guitarists shouldn’t be on the list and I figured others should be at a different spot on the list. No big deal. I just shrugged and silently scoffed at this idiot’s list.., knowing all the while that my opinion has no more truth and holds no more weight than his does…. Opinions are like assholes, right?

Opinions Are Like…taking a dump

So naturally, I wanted to check out the comment section under his video. Of course, most people were bitching about how fucked up the list was and that their favourite guitarists weren’t even mentioned. One guy said Jimmi Page is the best guitarist ever. Then another guy said, “Hendrix was better because he could play guitar with his teeth”… Then someone else said, “Paul Gilbert is better than both, because he can play guitar with his teeth and also play guitar using a drill”…Holy shit! I guess these rocket scientists took the day off work to have a debate on Youtube. It’s all good though. These geniuses gave me some great ideas…..

I’ve decided I’m gonna learn how to play guitar with my dick. That’ll make me the best guitarist on youtube for sure! And, maybe I should light my balls on fire at our next gig. That’ll make me the best rock ‘n roll showman ever! Opinions are like assholes and youtube has plenty of both.

Brent Johnston
Damn Wicked